In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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