Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
