..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
