So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Randomize