Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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