So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
