This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
