My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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