I like to think it a success when the cops are called
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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