I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
