READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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