You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
