Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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