I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
