Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?