i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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