is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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