i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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