ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
