Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
