she was so not down for the gang bang
just tell him i said nine months
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
