Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
