i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
