piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
