Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Randomize
