with your own penis?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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