he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
