made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
