I'm gonna have a badass scar
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
She bit a glass in half.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
