so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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