I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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