So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
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