I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
there is glitter all over my balls
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
