I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize
