What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Everything about him screamed your future.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize