Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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