i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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