is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
