She's JV to your varsity
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
