what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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