Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
