Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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