I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I can't put those talents on a resume
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
