It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Did I show you my penis last night?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Verdict: uncircumcised.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
