As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Randomize
