She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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