yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
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Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
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I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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