He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize