Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize