yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
