rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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