Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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