Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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