Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
are you so shy because you have an std?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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