I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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