Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
