Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
