roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
