we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
They have beer where we have blood.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
