So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
