idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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