im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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