im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
