Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(817): View more from Texas

After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.

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(817): After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot. http://tfl.nu/l939

Replies (63) Good night (830) Bad night (8329)
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(937): View more from Ohio

I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.

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(937): I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird. http://tfl.nu/7edr

Replies (66) Good night (818) Bad night (5205)
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(248): View more from Michigan

New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.

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(248): New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people. http://tfl.nu/cghq

Replies (126) Good night (17268) Bad night (2277)
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(513): View more from Ohio

She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.

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(513): She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment. http://tfl.nu/tn42

Replies (25) Good night (1101) Bad night (4574)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.

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(250): she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying. http://tfl.nu/nbti

Replies (19) Good night (1111) Bad night (4072)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...

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(502): I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened... http://tfl.nu/apd0

Replies (17) Good night (6020) Bad night (1228)
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(802): View more from Vermont

just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!

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(802): just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke! http://tfl.nu/q0f1

Replies (39) Good night (7102) Bad night (2030)
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(575): View more from New Mexico

So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?

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(575): So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation? http://tfl.nu/oofw

Replies (17) Good night (5820) Bad night (1002)
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(727): View more from Florida

I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"

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(727): I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head" http://tfl.nu/dap3

Replies (8) Good night (2762) Bad night (676)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.

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(612): She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask. http://tfl.nu/em4a

Replies (5) Good night (1595) Bad night (805)
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(419): View more from Ohio

HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.

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(419): HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU. http://tfl.nu/87a2

Replies (4) Good night (2285) Bad night (758)
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(420): View more from

Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.

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(420): Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides. http://tfl.nu/bzue

Replies (5) Good night (1508) Bad night (557)
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(415): View more from California

If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league

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(415): If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league http://tfl.nu/jv3f

Replies (2) Good night (913) Bad night (340)
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(248): View more from Michigan

It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.

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(248): It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk. http://tfl.nu/m630

Replies (7) Good night (1414) Bad night (386)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.

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(306): all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra. http://tfl.nu/tmhw

Replies (4) Good night (114) Bad night (232)

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