32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
make that 40.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Are we still banned from the library?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin