please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Everything about him screamed your future.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
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She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
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She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
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