i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
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