I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive