it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
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She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
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That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money