Only a mothe r could love this liver
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
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The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
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There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.