Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
